Surrender-A moment of awareness

Moment of awareness 🪷

Swim down the river. 

Client : _I have worked with my therapist for a while now. I have tried everything, but I don’t understand how to stop feeling this way_.”

“What is this feeling? Let’s talk.”

Client _I have chronic anxiety and fear. And seeing the way the world is, the global state of affairs, the wars, the global warming, not to mention my personal relationships, makes it seem overwhelming_.”

“Hmm.”

“I forgot the pandemic. So much suffering for the past few years all around us.”

“That’s quite true.”

“So what is the solution to this suffering?”

“What is suffering? What do we mean by that word?”

“I guess pain. Hurt. Fear.”

“The word suffering comes from the Latin words. Sub and ferre. ‘Sub’ means below, and ‘ferre’ means to bear. So what you bear underneath, is suffering.”

“That makes sense.”

“But what is actually suffering?”

“Hmm. I guess I don’t really know beyond what I already said.”

“Let me ask you something. Do you like swimming?”

“I actually don’t. But go on.”

“If I give you two options. 1. Swim up river for 10 minutes. 2. Swim down the river for 20. Which one are you likely to take?”

“Hmm. Down river of course. I think it would be easier to go with the river than to go against it, even if I had to swim longer. ”

“I see. Now let me ask you another question. Is the river the same or different in the two options?”

“It’s the same river.”

“The river did not change. What changed?”

“The swimmer.”

“Because of how he chooses to swim. Right?”

“But if I could, I would have chosen the third option. Not to swim at all.  Why should I even enter a river?”

“Ahh. You see? Good question. Why do you think so?”, I asked him.

He nodded. He began to understand the analogy more.

“This is the river of life.”

“That’s just it my friend. One doesn’t dive in the river. One is born in it.”

“Hmm. So why does one suffer so much?”

“Because no one is swimming down the river.”

“Sorry, I did not understand. You’re being too cryptic ! ”

We both laughed.

“I said, no one is swimming downriver. Everyone is swimming up the river.”

“I still don’t get it. How’s that possible?”

“It is possible because of conditioning. The conditioning to resist life experience.”

“I see. Can you explain more?”

“You see, we live in a conditioned society, no matter what part of the world it is, India, Australia, America or Africa, human beings do not know how to flow with the current of life.

They just know how to resist.

They have always only resisted, and fought.

And all this fighting is to go against the flow - to swim up the river. 

This resistance compounds human suffering.”

“But if I don’t resist, the problems will increase. Wouldn’t they?”

“Does the river change based on the direction you’re swimming in it?”

“Hmm. No, the river is the same.”

“Which means what?”, I implored.

“Which means, whether I struggle or not, makes no difference to how the world is turning, how life is flowing.”

“Exactly. Zero difference.”

He paused for a second.

“That doesn’t make sense though. Because that would mean all action is unnecessary. Nothing means anything! And one should just give up! ”

“Now wait! Is swimming in that river completely futile?“

“Hmm. That's a strange question. I need to think about it.”

He thought for a minute or two.

“Yes and No”

“Go on”, I said.

“It seems like. It is futile in the sense that the river does not change in any significant way.  But it is not futile in the sense that it takes me from one place to another. It moves me.”

“Excellent!  But what is the condition in which that can happen? When will you go from one point to the other?”, I waited eagerly for his answer.

“When I go with the river. Only when I don’t fight it”

“Isn’t that beautiful? The river of life doesn't change its nature for me, but it changes my nature as I become a part of it. As I take the river, as I go with the river, the river begins to change me.”

He was breathing deeply. 

I could see the tightening of his jaw and neck muscles, as some intense thought pattern was taking hold of him.

He was having a moment to himself.

There was nothing to do, except allow it.

Then suddenly, he relaxed, and let out a deep exhale.

His shoulders and face softened. 

“That felt like it shifted something within me.”

“Yes. When you understand what it means, this shifts everything. I think you had a glimpse of going downstream. You experienced Surrender.”

“How can I take this into my life? How do I live with this realization and Surrender?”

“Let it guide you. When you get into those arguments with your partner, ask yourself. Am I going with the flow or against it? 

Am I trying to change them, or am I accepting them as they are? 

Your resistance to their thoughts and words and actions compounds your suffering.

Not their actions, but the response you have to those actions.”

“Yes, my response is always resistance.”

“Now respond with Surrender. Resistance compounds our suffering, and changes nothing. Surrender dissolves human suffering, it changes everything.”

“I can feel it intuitively, but my rational mind cannot believe that Surrender changes reality.”

“Yes. You may be right. It's perhaps not possible for Surrender to change reality.”, I said with a smile.

He went quiet.

Then he laughed and said, “I see what you did there!”

“Do you?”

“Yes, you are letting me be right! ”

“Yes I am.”

“And yet I feel like you are not doing it to change my mind.”

 

“No I am not. I am perfectly okay if you don’t agree with me. I want you be you.”

 

“Weirdly, I feel like I don’t want to insist on using the rational mind so much anymore. I feel like maybe there is something here which I need to experiment with.”

 

“May be”

 

“Maybe, I just need to try.”

 

“May be.”

*The Journey of Surrender is not an easy one. The Ego finds it very hard to Surrender*. 

Rather, the Ego, as long is it in charge, cannot Surrender.

it is only when the Ego steps back, and says, "I don't know", does Surrender come alive.

*Surrender is a glorious failure the Ego must achieve*.

You have let Ego do its thing.

Perhaps, it's time to give Surrender a try.

 

*Meditation Minute : Your Weekly Practice*

 

Ask yourself, these questions when you feel caught in trying too hard to prove something or reach an outcome. 

1. Am I trying too hard?

2. Can I take a deep breath and step back?

3. Can I learn to step forward gently, rather than fighting with it?